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Joke of the Day

"It should be legal to shoot people who speed up only to keep you from passing."

"My hair is beautiful.* *Conditioner applied."

"Still mourning the horrible death on 12/5/2013 Yesterday, a great man died. His name was Todd Mills, the inventer of the Doritos Locos Taco."

"I used to crush cans for a living, didn't like it though... It was soda pressing."

"after one year of practice i attempt my first gangnam style dance in front of my coworkers"

"I walked into a bar and some chick tried to pick me up I said ""Put me down, you are going to hurt yourself."""

"One of my mates told me that he has a pregnant rabbit. It has an ingrown hare,"

"What do you do with a stuck tap..? Fawcett."

"I hate when I accidentally say ""I love you"" instead of ""I'm biologically driven to want to reproduce with you & I'm temporarily delusional"""

"What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier."