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Joke of the Day

"Atheists are Popeless romantics."

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"My Girlfriend is doing majors in Physics Yesterday she texted me she needs time and distance. I dont even know why she wants to calculate the velocity"
"A guy noticed his friend was late for work... ""Where have you been?"" he asked. ""To my mother-in-law's burial."" ""Then why the scratches on your face?"" ""She kept resisting, that old fart."""
"Bill Cosby likes his women like he likes his town cars... Blacked out"
"So a blind man walks by a fish market... And when he walks by the market he takes a deep breathe and says... hello ladies!"
"My biggest fear is that I'm holding my baby and a rapper asks me to put my hands in the air."
"How are babies and strippers alike? They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home"
"knock knock ...... come in..."
"Hey girl are you a Sony Pictures movie because I wanna [end of joke redacted due to foreign pressure]"
"How do you get an LSU football player to stop masturbating? Paint his penis crimson and white, and he'll never beat it."