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Joke of the Day

"How do you get an LSU football player to stop masturbating? Paint his penis crimson and white, and he'll never beat it."

"What's a vampire cows worst fear? Steaks."

"A girl and her sugar daddy are in bed and she's about to orgasm... ""Daddy I'm cumming!"" ""Hi Cumming, I'm dad"""

"I downloaded corn onto my computer. It messed up the kernel."

"Which is faster to unload, a truckload of bricks or a truckload of dead kittens? Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night. It's easily forgettable."

"Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. ""Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?"" ""Yes!"" ""For the whole basketball team?"""

"I used to date a periodicals librarian... ...but we broke up because she had too many issues."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? ""argh..."" ""NO, IT BE THE SEA"""