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Joke of the Day

"Why is Peter pan always flying? Because he NEVERLANDS. This joke is great because it never grows old."

"If Hillary Clinton makes it onto money... ...then she would have had to be on top while her husband and her were having sex. Otherwise, it would make no sense for her to be on a bill."

"Donuts are made from flour. Flour is made from wheat. Wheat is a plant. Plants are vegetables. Donuts are a vegetable."

"Your mama is so poor She voted for Bernie Sanders! Bern!"

"If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!"

"What do you call a therapist? a TALKtor"

"there is something good about pedophiles... ...they make a kick-ass cocoa!"

"What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys? Coach."

"Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats"

"I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza."