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Joke of the Day

"I got a notice we are taking company pictures today. *walks in dressed as Super Girl."

"I just saw the most beautiful girl, but she was wearing those huge sunglasses so there is still a chance she's a 1200 pound rhinoceros."

"I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, ""Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth."" He said, ""Well you were mythtaken."""

"I like to flush the toilet a few times when I'm on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again"

"So Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Do you want a beer?"" Descartes responds, ""I think not!"" poof. he disappeared"

"Remember how they used to call Bill Cosby ""America's Dad""? No fucking wonder most of the country has daddy issues."

"My girlfriend asked me how do i see lesbian relationships Apparently 'In HD' wasn't the right answer."

"[PHONE] ""TSA, How can I help you?"" Me: ""Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!"" Agent: ""Umm..."" Me: ""DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"""

"Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone? Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!"

"What is DJ Khaled's favorite number? 11 Because it has another 1"