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Joke of the Day
"Why did the drunkard ride the escalator To lift his spirits"
Next Joke
"Trying to figure out if you practice the violin for many hours every day, or if you just have a really bad hickey."
"My girlfriend told me she wanted a ring. So I said ""Bitch, take your phone off silent!"""
"Why did Abe Lincoln and Stephen Douglas get thrown out of the church? Because they were caught mass debating in the bathroom."
"Me: I wish for a lightsaber. Genie: Be realistic. Me: Ok, I wish for a boyfriend. Genie: Would you like your lightsaber in blue or green?"
"how do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? You take away their tiny brooms."
"A ""gag gift"" means something completely different to people into BDSM."
"How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!"
"I don't understand why people always fight becoming a zombie or vampire. Both seem awesome because you don't have to have a job."
"Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?"