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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why people always fight becoming a zombie or vampire. Both seem awesome because you don't have to have a job."

"There's no cool way to chase a bouncing ping pong ball."

"For logic-based beings. !!... Who's there? Same as before."

"How do astronauts say they're sorry? They apollo-gize."

"It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous."

"What do you a great Jewish cook Hitler"

"Eagles QB Michael Vick is engaged to be married. But both Rappers Pitbull and Snoop Dogg declined the invitation."

"First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, ""THIS IS A ROBBERY!"" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism."

"Do penises and testicles have much in common? Not really. There's a vas deferens between the two."

"If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you."