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Joke of the Day
"Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?"
Next Joke
"I am a man with Alzheimer's, AMA! EDIT: Why is everyone asking me questions?"
"I keep nacho cheese handy so in case I start to lose an argument I can pour it on my head and say ""You're arguing with nachos, you idiot""."
"Did you hear the one about the gay couple who were perfect for each other? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."
"Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure."
"A woman asked a female doctor if she had aids ... ""Yes, I do. They're busy now, but they'll be with you shortly."""
"[2 T-Rex's getting drunk] ""I'm wasted."" ""Me too. You know how bad?"" ""Don't say it again."" ""I can't feel my face."" ""Goddammit, Kevin."""
"Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!"
"Asked my ex-husband once for song requests. He said he wanted to hear the sound of silence. So I sang, ""Hello darkness, my old friend...."""
"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."