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Joke of the Day

"Where do ghosts live? At the dead end."

"if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out"

"My girlfriend had a sexual fantasy to roleplay as a 14 year old in bed. I think it's pretty gross. Besides, she'll be 14 in 2 years anyway."

"I watched a comedian called Paul Jones the other day. He was Appauling!"

"Replace someone's MRI with a dancing skeleton gif once, and you'll never be asked to deliver bad news again."

"After months of practice, I can finally touch my toes. (By telling them that they are beautiful.)"

"Karma is like a rubber-band...it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face!"

"That prank where you roll the windows down as you go through a carwash so your friends get soaked isn't as funny when you do it by yourself"

"My Asian friend bought a dog today! Guess how much they got it for? $5.50 per pound."

"Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes."