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Joke of the Day

"I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast."

"I want to write ""I miss you"" on a rock and throw it at your face so that you'll know how much it hurts to miss you."

"Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter."

"My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale... I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest."

"Who is the biggest slut in America? Little Debbie, everybody eats her."

"Why are there fences around a graveyard? People are dying to get in."

"I can do a great impersonation of a hipster. I'd show it to you but it's not mainstream, you probably wouldn't get it."

"I used to know a guy who shaved around six or seven times a day and still had a beard at the end of the day He was a Barber."

"Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin? A: It is usually still in the case."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the parking lot."