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Joke of the Day

"I want to write ""I miss you"" on a rock and throw it at your face so that you'll know how much it hurts to miss you."

"What did the midget say in the crowded elevator? You guys are a bunch of assholes."

"Malaysian food is the best! Because it goes down easily"

"Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"How does Jesus pull mad bitches? Because he's hung like this! ( extends both arms horizontally)"

"Love' is picking up tampons at the supermarket for your girlfriend. True love' is inserting them."

"Why is Smurfette the only smurf who recycles? She's the only one with a blue box."

"What do you call the girls who outrun me? Virgins."

"A guy calls his boss and asks him: Guy: What's the difference between this morning and your daughter? Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!"

"""Your teeth are like the stars"" he said As he pressed her hand so white. He spoke the truth for like the stars Her teeth came out at night!"