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Joke of the Day

"For gods sake! You'd think it would be safe not locking a car in a church carpark on a Sunday, apparently NOT. Anyway I got 8 iPhones."

"What do Reddit Users and Olive Oil have in common? They're both extra virgin."

"Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself."

"I had to break it off with my girlfriend. She wouldn't fake orgasms. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about my needs."

"How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day? They are both up to something."

"A kid asks his Dad to show him a magic trick... Dad says, ""Sure"" then he disappears and never returned."

"You know why no one ever flunks out of Porn School? Everyone has to take a ""D"" on the final exam."

"This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES"

"I wish I had parents like Dora They let that bitch go everywhere."

"Did you hear about the guy who ate so many creole sausages that he had a fatal heart attack? They were his andouille-ing. [I'll see myself out...]"