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Joke of the Day

"I was going to tell a joke about a vacuum But I realized it sucked."

"Lesbians build huge mansion in atlanta... It was all tounge and groove, not a single stud in the house. (Construction workers joke, you might not get it)"

"What is the pinnacle of laziness? Having a remote control for your remote control."

"I like my women like I like my beer: I'm so fucking lonely."

"Starting a Mexican boy band named Juan Direction."

"When I was younger, I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts I ate a Brownie."

"Did you hear about the french TV show Did you hear about the french TV chat show that only airs on a thursday? Richard and Jeudi"

"My most forced joke. How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out? By moving faux wood. Rimshot?"

"Me: My bed is so warm and cosy. I never want to leave. Bladder: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"[guy from the 50s arrives in a time machine] ""Who's president?"" Barack Obama ""Braco? Sounds Mexican"" Nope ""Whew"" You might want to sit down"