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Joke of the Day

"I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I'll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab."

"My life is like a beautiful piece of furniture from IKEA. Once I figure out how to put it all together, I may get to actually enjoy it."

"Passenger profiled on airplane flight for doing math. I want to know if the profiler is a blonde? Feminist? Liberal arts major?"

"A stitch in time... Would confuse Einstein"

"Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with ""If you buy this, women will have sex with you"""

"What's the difference between a garden hose and a the male prostate? Well, there is a vas deferens."

"Whoever coined the term ""gross profit"" wasn't getting paid for their job."

"I am terrified of elevators I am going to start taking steps to avoid them"

"I decided to make a new logo for /r/jokes you like it?"

"What do you call a group of blind German kids? Not-sees"