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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garden hose and a the male prostate? Well, there is a vas deferens."

"If you are on fire, my advice would be to get off fire."

"I saw santa fucking my mom. To get back at him i decided to poison his cookies. Somehow the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug? It makes me sick."

"Pedophiles Are fucking immature assholes"

"I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied ""Oh man, I slapped my neon that one"""

"A girl to her friend... ""isn't that guy hot? I am gonna ask him out"" ""he doesn't look good when he laugh"" - said the other girl ""don't worry, he won't laugh anymore"""

"A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean today. The survivors are marooned."

"My wife thinks I drink too much... ...but the guy who runs my dialysis treatment says he's seen way worse."

"settle down twitter crush. i didn't ask your last name to google you. i wanted to see how it sounded with the names i've picked for our kids"