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Joke of the Day

"""What do we call this war?"" ""The World War?"" ""No. There's already been 1 of those"" ""Uh this is a world war, too"" *the streetlights explode*"

"What's the difference between a corvette and a blowjob? Your mom didn't give me a corvette"

"Why aren't Japanese optimistic? Because not every cloud has a silver lining"

"What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam."

"Dear math, stop telling me to find your X Their not coming back, grow up and solve your own problems"

"I just bought a piano off the TV. It came from the Chopin Channel."

"Two hipsters walk into a bar. The first did it before it was cool. The second did it ironically."

"How many metal drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, but it takes 32 lightbulbs."

"Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich"

"True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically.."