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Joke of the Day

"Two hipsters walk into a bar. The first did it before it was cool. The second did it ironically."

"My prompt email replies are 10% due to me being a diligent employee, and 90% due to the crippling OCD that compels me to clear my inbox."

"I remember once I threw a boomerang It never came back so I've learned to live in constant fear."

"Redditors screaming REPOST!! at everything are like grandparents. Just that they don't even seem to *like* the 'good old days'."

"A good will gesture . . . A friendly chap from a local charity asked for a donation towards restoring the community swimming pool today. . . I gave him a bottle of water."

"There are two kinds of people that I hate... 1.) Those who can never seem to form a complete thought."

"Q: What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow? A: Spoiled Milk."

"Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal."

"I want my money back, these suppositories taste like shit."

"People who live in Flint should drink gasoline. It's cheaper than the water and guaranteed unleaded"