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Joke of the Day

"Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich"

"At the next election I am going to vote for the NSA Because they listen to the voters even after the elections."

"What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? We will get around to it sooner or later."

"Let the bodies hit the floor? Ok but first let me put down some plastic this is new carpet I don't want to ruin it my mom will be pissed"

"I never really liked gravity... ... It's always bringing me down."

"I don't think it is fair God plays for the Seahawks, seems like an unfair advantage."

"What goes after foursome? Awesome..."

"Everybody hates Crocs but the company is worth over $2 billion. Somebody is lying."

"Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?"

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? French onion soup."