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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make everything up."

"Why are some flowers gangsta ? Cause they carry pistils."

"Q: Why is a blonde like Australia? A: They're both down under and no one cares."

"I'm gonna leave this world just like I came in, dawg! ""Yo, for sure. Kickin and screamin!"" Nah, brah. On a giant spaceship."

"If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were both drowning and you could only save one, would you grab a bite to eat or finish mowing the lawn?"

"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"

"How does a chef ask to leave the dinner table? He says, ""Gourmet I be excused?"""

"What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ? Tsardines !"

"TIL that Benjamin Franklin loved containers. It was frequently said that Ben was on a bin binge."

"It's weird how many people at my office are named ""Hey."""