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Joke of the Day
"watching my cats groom each other and it feels like I should be throwing money at them"
Next Joke
"First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes her skin had the glow of a peach her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me."
"My new boyfriend says the cutest things, like ""Who are you?"" and ""Why are you hiding outside my house?"" and ""My wife is calling the police."""
"what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? have you seen my tractor?"
"Your mom is so dumb. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer."
"there is this mom at work who breastfeeds her kid every meeting is a lunch meeting"
"The police knocked on my door and told me my dog was chasing some fella on a bike. I said fuck off my dog ain't even got a bike."
"Average people are mean ."
"I see that you have graph paper, you must be plotting something."
"Joe sent me to John this morning... Boy was that meeting complete shit!"