195819

Joke of the Day

"The police knocked on my door and told me my dog was chasing some fella on a bike. I said fuck off my dog ain't even got a bike."

"I answer with an automatic ""Yes"" each time my mom says ""Oh, have I told you...?"" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim."

"B:You can never be possessed by any demonic beings. G:Why? Is it because I am very religious? B:No! Its because you are always so salty"

"Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead."

"What is worse than the earthquake in Italy? The Holocaust."

"I was born with this saltiness I tasted my own cum It tasted salty"

"Can I get a football meatlong? With please, cheese."

"When should I borrow the Fatboy Slim joke from the library? Right about now, funk soul brother. Check it out now, funk soul brother."

"I used to do drugs... ...I still do, but I used to, too."

"I'm going to rename my car Felicia That way when I pass people they can say ""Bye Felicia"""