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Joke of the Day

"I got security cameras fitted outside my house. Just to convince people that I have stuff worth stealing."

"Tripped in a curry house... It went from bad to worse when slipped into a korma (coma) I just invented this joke. It might only work with Mancunian accent?"

"What's a gay man's favorite time? Eight a'cock"

"What do you call an unemployed classical musician? Baroque"

"Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed? He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral."

"To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for #4"

"What is the difference between a computer and a jet airliner About 250 lives, depending on which one crashed."

"[Excavation for dino bones] DIGGER: Sir, we found something BIG! DOG PALEONTOLOGIST: *tail wags* Ok go for break [salivating] I'll finish up"

"[Sex Shop] Worker: can I help you? Me: Yes can I get um.. *fumbles with piece of paper* one sex please"

"How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? By rearranging the furniture."