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Joke of the Day

"Three Nazi's walk into a B.A.R. ..."

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"Hearing problems I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""
"My wife gained more than 100 pounds during pregnancy, so I started walking 5 miles every day to encourage her. It's been three months and now I'm over 300 miles away from home."
"I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face."
"How do you get a million dollars with a girlfriend You start with 4 million"
"A good way to make friends is to crawl under the bathroom stall quickly before they can get away"
"I screwed one of my fans. Safe to say it blew me all night."
"What is a cannibal's favorite food at the county fair? Chili con Carny."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bones ! Bones who ? Bones upon a time... !"
"What do you call someone who photographs fish? A school shooter"