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Joke of the Day
"If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can't even finish this one"
Next Joke
"""Strap On"" backwards is ""No Parts"""
"We had a safety meeting at work today. They asked me ""what steps would you take in event of a fire? ""Fucking big ones"" was apparently not the right answer."
"What's a monster's favorite bean? A human bean. "
"Why should Mexico accept Syrian refugees? With the level of crime and political violence, they will feel right at home."
"If you enjoy waking up and checking to see what died, get a fish tank"
"Stalker status update: Good news-I'm not in your house. The bad news-I am UNDER your house and the tunnel is complete."
"My parents said I should watch less movies and read more,so I turned on the subtitles.."
"I called the urologist's office for an appointment for erectile dysfunction The girl at the desk (checking the calendar) ""ok, let's see if we can get you in.."" I said, ""exactly."""
"Why was the little bear so spoiled ? Because its mother panda'd to its every whim !"