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Joke of the Day

"How do you swat one hundred flies at the same time? Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan."

"How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You wave hello!"

"[airport security] *BEEP* Ma'am, step through again *BEEP* Nice try pal, I'm not removing my Slayer shirt Ma'am, please it's too much metal"

"Mood ring I got my wife a mood ring. When she's in a good mood it turns a beautiful shade of blue. When she's in a bad mood it leaves an ugly red mark on my forehead."

"Don't mess with me! I've got a black belt... It's brown on the other side."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? In a Porsche, the pricks are in the inside"

"Did you hear the news about the CEO of Ford? He was seen with an escort..."

"HUGE shout out to Will Smith! With out him we never would have survived the alien attack in '96. Happy Independence Day!"

"1) Find short Irish guy 2) teach him to rap. 3) Become manager. Name him Leprechaunye West 4) wait for $ to roll in"

"How do you sink a Swedish submarine? Knock on the hatch."