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Joke of the Day

"(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy."

"You Know The Economy is really Bad when even God starts laying people off #pope"

"Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney."

"First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!"

"I'm the kind of guy who peeks under bathroom stalls and asks where you go for taxes."

"What kind of parents are see-through? Transparence!"

"What do you get if you cross a rethorical question and a joke?"

"Two peanuts were walking down the road ...one was assaulted!"

"So there was a pediatrist... no, wait a doct- a... Gynecologist *that's it!* Anyway... I walk in and... ""Sorry, I fucked up the delivery everybody. Also, your baby is dead."""