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Joke of the Day

"First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper."

"[presentation] GUY WITH A COMBOVER NAMED IAN: So that's our plan for the next year. Any questions? ME: Why did you call your combover Ian?"

"In god we trust Everyone else must pay cash"

"The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* ""Second rook"""

"I know a place where the recycling rate is 99% /r/jokes"

"Who clicks on ads? I do To report them."

"The fencer thought he knew what was about to happen but... ...his opponent feinted."

"How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible."

"[date] Clark Kent: I propose a toast *they take their glasses off the table* Lois Lane: omg it's Supertable!"

"Things Red Bull has given me: 1) jitters 2) diarrhea 3) a heart attack Things Red Bull has not given me: 1) wings"