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Joke of the Day

"First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper."

"How are women and hurricanes alike? The both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave."

"You've been robbed by *360 spin* A smooooth crimi- *trips over own feet, drops tv, & butt dials police*"

"How many donald trumps does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He holds it up and the world revolves around him"

"Why did the baby kangaroo not want to grow up? It was a wannabe wallaby!"

"""Bartender, see that brunette at the end of the bar? I'd like you to bring her a slice of your finest ham."""

"What do you call a marine animal who under-performs at the vegetable academy? A C-cucumber."

"How many refs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They only screw playoff games"

"Wait come back, I didn't mean it when I was just being myself"

"What do Trump voters use as bookmarks? Lit matches."