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Joke of the Day

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You would think R, but pirates really have a passion of the seas."

"When I go out to eat I wear a shirt w/ a picture of me shirtless on it, because I hate rules but I like service."

"A committee has narrowed the search for a name for the newly hypothesised 9th planet. It's between Urpenis and Urvagina."

"If there's ever a zombie outbreak, it should happen in Las Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"Co-worker: Face up or face down? Me: Um. What? Cw: The fax machine? Documents face up or down? Me: I'm not mature enough to answer that."

"When she said ""I think we got way too much pizza."" I knew I Finally had my chance to shine, to be the hero."

"I bought a chilli dog and a thumb drive at a gas station... Ya know, for shits and gigs."

"Two nuclear explosions occur next to each other. ""You're way too close to me"" says nuke #1. ""I'm Feynman"" says the other."

"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""

"How I traveled around the world without spending a nickel. I paid in dimes."