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Joke of the Day

"Two nuclear explosions occur next to each other. ""You're way too close to me"" says nuke #1. ""I'm Feynman"" says the other."

"TIL That Oscar Pistorius once opened a pizza parlor only to have it fail and go bankrupt. The cause? His car was always breaking down, so OP never delivered."

"What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses! "

"poetic injustice ITS ALWAYS BEEN A LIFELONG WISH TO MAKE LOVE TO A CONTORTIONIST AFTER YEARS OF PLAYING ALL THE ANGLES IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL NEVER BE ENTANGLED"

"Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most? Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!"

"Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... Now it looks like France landed there..."

"Alcoholics don't run in my family... They stumble around breaking things"

"What is the saddest Olympic sport to watch? Water Polio"

"Yo mama is so hairy... ...She doesn't have a bush, she has a whole damn rain forest."

"What does Laquisha have for breakfast? Plan B"