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Joke of the Day
"Math/music joke: What do you get when you subtract original blues from modern blues? Delta blues."
Next Joke
"ME: Onions make me cry. HER: It's from a compound called Syn-Propanethial-S-Oxide. ME: I think it's probably cuz an onion killed my parents."
"I'm not saying I've had a lot to drink, but my foot just fell asleep so I drew dicks on it."
"[first date] *Ok don't let her know you're a vampire* ""Would you like a mint?"" *reaches in pocket, pulls out SPF 5,000,000,000* ""Dammit"""
"How many light bulbs does it take to change a person? None. Light bulbs don't change anything."
"- Are you upset? Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... - No."
"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year"
"Just saw a five year old in a track suit & a gold chain. His nana didn't think it was funny when I asked him if he could hook up some blow."
"What did the poker dealer say to LMFAO? Everyday I'm shufflin'."
"Why are there so few professional pedophiles? Most of them prefer playing in the minors."