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Joke of the Day

"No matter who you vote tonight to become our next president.. there is going to be a blonde sitting in the Oval Office in about 3 months.."

"I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie."

"Mary had a little lamb. ...and she was delicious!"

"I respect strippers because its really hard to dance by yourself and not look stupid."

"when u r a responsible man so u finger ur throat to puke your beer up so u ain't 2 drunk 2 driver"

"What do you call a man in the window? INNUENDO!!!!!!!"

"A pregnant woman came in looking for a girly stroller So I kicker her in the stomach."

"As my wife gave birth all the doctors yelled, ""Push!"" I was convinced it was a Pull door."

"So a termite walks into a bar... And asks, hey, is the bartender?"

"I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now"