201708

Joke of the Day

"What are your views on abortion? I'm undecided. On one hand, I like killing babies, on the other, I don't like giving women a choice."

"Staying at my daughter's place again this weekend. Can't wait till 3am so I can wake her to tell her there's a moth in my room."

"What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise? The Captain's Log."

"My gangster name would be The Street. If someone dared to oppose me I'd say ominous things like ""Look both ways before you cross The Street"""

"Plastic Surgery I loaned a friend 5000 to get plastic surgery last week... I'll never get the money back, I dunno what he looks like now."

"What's similar between Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd? Both of their last big hits were the wall."

"What Do You Call a Rabbit with a Crooked Dick? Fucks Funny"

"On your first day as a new parent, walk up to your baby and cry louder than it to assert your dominance."

"There was a fire yesterday at my local thrift store A person died of secondhand smoke"

"My Grandad spent most of the war on the lookout out for German bombers. He was a lifeguard at Berlin Swimming Baths."