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Joke of the Day

"I've got good news and bad news: the bad news is that it's either trump or Hillary for president... The good news is that by 2020 America will be in ruins and Kanye will never get a chance to run."

"I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair."

"16: I hate old people. Me: That's where you and I are different. 16: You like old people?! Me: No, I hate everybody."

"""Mom?"" ""Yes?"" ""Are we having seafood for dinner?"" ""No, why?"" ""I heard Dad on the phone."" ""And?"" ""He said that he picked up a case of crabs."""

"If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it."

"What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket? He got off on a technicality"

"The Pope walks into a mosque The Imam asks ""Why the wrong faith?"""

"I decided to email Ted Kaczynski yesterday Edit : wow, my inbox blew up"

"When you get a 3D printer, don't mess around. Go straight to printing money."

"Why does Donald Trump dislike trees? Because they're brown and don't speak English."