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Joke of the Day

"I decided to email Ted Kaczynski yesterday Edit : wow, my inbox blew up"

"I dated a mime that was a mistress Being tied up was a little complicated."

"Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes."

"What do you call a sick extraterrestrial? An ailin' alien."

"One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together"

"How do choo choo train go down many mountain? It go ""TOOT"" then thomas Tank gives tug"

"You can tell which inmates were involved in organized crime because their cells are much neater than other prisoners'"

"My boyfriend calls me ""babe"" because ""pig in the city"" is such a mouthful to say."

"Knock knock, who's there? ""Star wars episode IV a new"" ""Star wars episode IV a new who?"" ""Star wars episode IV a new whope"" So bad that it's good?"

"ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, ""So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."""