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Joke of the Day

"The Pope walks into a mosque The Imam asks ""Why the wrong faith?"""

"[murder scene] detective: ""she drown?"" cop: ""after a blow to the head"" d: ""what's he doing?"" me: [trying to draw chalk outline on river]"

"Sea World announced they're not going to breed Orcas in captivity anymore... So now the only whales you'll see in a theme park are the American women"

"I invented a new word the other day. Plagiarism."

"If you're attacked by clowns... Go for the juggler."

"Jared from subway You know, if Jared from Subway goes to prison, he is still going to have an unlimited amount of foot longs."

"what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels"

"How do you spot the vegan at a party? They'll tell you."

"I heard they are digging up Micheal Jackson Gonna melt him down use the plastic to make toys, so little boys can play with him for a change."

"After 2 divorces, I gave up on that 'dream girl' shit long ago. At this point, if she has no outstanding warrants, I'll talk to her..."