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Joke of the Day

"Why do Scottish men watch porno movies backwards? Because they like the scenes where the prostitutes return the money to their clients."

"I've been on this new Vodka diet. It's great, I've lost 3 days already!"

"If you commit 90 sins, u will get caught 45 times. Why? Because Sin 90 = Cot 45!"

"What idiot invented fire blankets? You'd think they'd be hot enough from the flames."

"Hitler was a charitable guy. He backed Japan when they needed help in WW2."

"Watching TV today I saw a struggling actress I used to know had landed a job in a bra commercial. Nice to see her supporting herself."

"Wife: Did you measure for carpet? Me: Yeah, from the window Wife: Don't Me: To the wall Wife: Don't Me: tothesweatdripoffmyballs! *runs*"

"A Catholic named Jose climbed mount Olympus. He saw God at the top and said ""Hey! Zeus!"""

"CASHIER: ""Did you find everything you were looking for?"" ME: ""Oh, yes..."" [places ""How To Murder A Cashier"" book on counter]"

"I have no idea why these women called me a massaging gymnast All I said was that women belong in the kitchen."