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Joke of the Day

"I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried."

"Everybody hates Crocs but the company is worth over $2 billion. Somebody is lying."

"Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker? Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light."

"If you do a Google Image search for the number '241543903', you will find out why the human race is so fantastic."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... ...then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids. - Jimmy Carr"

"I got a new vacuum that sucks so much, it was directed by M. Night Shamalayan"

"""It's 3am and everyone is asleep. Must run into random rooms as fast as I can and jump on everything"" - cats"

"Officer, if I can't stand in the shoulder of the road, screaming and crying, then maybe they shouldn't call it the breakdown lane."

"Maybe we should be focussing less on Goldilocks and more on why Mama and Papa bear don't sleep in the same bed anymore."

"Have you heard about the recent abnormal growth in cancer clinics? There are tumor down the street."