53418

Joke of the Day

"""It's 3am and everyone is asleep. Must run into random rooms as fast as I can and jump on everything"" - cats"

"My friend and I went to a guitar clinic recently. He really seemed to be into it. I guess it struck a chord with him."

"dying to have A guy goes into bar and says to the bartender."" I'm dying to have sex in the worst way. The bartender says "" Well, the worst way I can think of is standing up in a hammock."""

"Want to hear something funny? I saw a sheep get stung by some insects... Not funny? I guess ewe had two bees there."

"I've been so drunk that homeless people give me their footlong sub. When they give it to me they whisper, ""Get your shit together, rookie."""

"I can eat a rope and have it come out tied at the other end. . . I shit you knot"

"Rape fantasy Guy: ""Wanna do a rape fantasy?"" Woman: ""No!"" Guy: ""That's the spirit"""

"Which birds steal soap from the bath ? Robber ducks !"

"Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job."

"Motion to change the country's motto to: ""America - we're not that bright."""