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Joke of the Day

"The year is 1981. Everybody's working for the weekend. 2044: the weekend becomes sentient. 2048: Everybody's working for the weekend."

"Titties on a hook [NSFW] click bait"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... And a table.....then some chairs..."

"If you like airborne fecal matter you'll love being alive on earth"

"What do you do when your daughter says batman raped her? Switch to the spiderman outfit"

"Rembrandt was unsurpassed in his ability to depict light and shadow in his works, until the camera came out. then he got insanely surpassed"

"A scientist and an engineer walk into a bar... The scientist says ""I'll have some H2O."" The engineer says ""I'll have H2O, too."" The engineer dies."

"Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?"

"Why are giraffe's necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies!"

"Did you hear about Bruce Jenner? Hes the first athlete to go from the Wheaties box to the Froot Loops box"