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Joke of the Day

"What did the gallon of pasteurized milk say to the other? ""No homo."""

"Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die"

"Mechanic said I blew a seal... Technically, it was a sea lion, but more importantly, how did he even know?"

"""Are you sure this lawyer is good?"" Yeah, why? ""He pronounced sue like sway"""

"How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water."

"What do condoms prevent? Minivans."

"A magic tractor went down a dirt road And turned into a field."

"I get irrationally angry when someone else is in the laundry room at the same time I am"

"*tries to take off date's bra* If you- *tries again* If- *again* If you would take off the hulk gloves this would be easier *looks up* NEVER"

"What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? There have been reported sightings of bigfoot"