190313

Joke of the Day

"Mechanic said I blew a seal... Technically, it was a sea lion, but more importantly, how did he even know?"

"What do you do on a date with a feminist? Split the bill."

"Hey, maybe one time we could make a sitcom where the husband is out of the wife's league and the wife says stupid shit all the time."

"Apple Products My friend asked me why I don't like Apple products. Told her that the cables remind me of my ex-gf, white and kink-free."

"How do you say Constipated in German? Farfrompoopin"

"A got a beer for my wife... and it was the best trade I've made in a while"

"I'm so broke that if my girlfriend leaves me for another guy I swear that I'm going with them."

"2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers... carry on."

"I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way. Through the driver's door."

"How do you stop an F4 tornado from destroying a town? A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris! However, this method will cause more destruction than the tornado."