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Joke of the Day

"*tries to take off date's bra* If you- *tries again* If- *again* If you would take off the hulk gloves this would be easier *looks up* NEVER"

"What's a feminists worst nightmare? Fat free milk"

"Meteorologists always have their heads in the clouds But gastroenterologists take shit seriously"

"An irishman walked into a bar it's not funny, I should have been in work today."

"Carrots are good for your eyes but they hurt when I put them in."

"Did you hear about the crazy chickens that took over a farm? It was a cuckoo coop coup."

"[at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no"

"Adding ""and sh!t"" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t."

"I get the same thing for my birthday every year - a pair of socks and a piece of tail... And they're both two sizes too big."

"I doubt anyone's actually ""dying"" from seeing a cute baby picture on FB, but we can always dream."