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Joke of the Day

"According to NASA scientists, black holes were created using The Space Shovel"

"What does a panda say when it's out of food? Chute"

"Last night my friend Gavin overdosed on heart burn medicine...... I can't believe Gaviscon."

"What's the best way to dispose of a dead body? Was asking for a friend, but he was being a whiny shit about it, so now I'm asking for me."

"My study buddies, Reese and Shey. Aren't they beautiful? [=)](http://i.imgur.com/K4L0fXJ.jpg)"

"Two blondes stood on a riverbank across one another... One blonde yells out, ""How do I get to the other side?"" The other blonde replies, ""You ARE on the other side!"""

"My mind is a micro-government, fighting wars of its own creation for profit."

"Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend. [X Post from r/Fantasy] They're both cauldron."

"Apparently Sepp Blatter has resigned to spend more time with his family... ... And his shreddder"

"Why shoudn't you play poker in Africa ? Because of all the Cheetahs!"