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Joke of the Day

"Two blondes stood on a riverbank across one another... One blonde yells out, ""How do I get to the other side?"" The other blonde replies, ""You ARE on the other side!"""

"What did the skim milk say to the farmer I will never be whole again."

"Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress? She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement"

"I was in a masturbating competition... I came 1st twice!"

"You should always wrap your hamster in duct tape. That way, it won't explode when you fuck it."

"You're never too old to learn stupid shit."

"The person you are trying to stalk Is stalking another person.. Please wait"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-o-puss"

"*moves heaven & earth for her* *moves more left *more left *little right *little more right *moves heaven & earth back to original spot*"

"50 years ago you had to get really fucking drunk to drop your phone in a urinal."