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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit 100 babies into a cup? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips."

"I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... ""Come here Stay! Come here Stay!"" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd."

"What'd the Mexican say when he was upset? I don't want to taco bout it."

"My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word ""slimming"", I explain to the other homeless people."

"My abusive father always tells jokes His favorite part is the Punch Line."

"Obesity researchers have discovered a new approach to solve the problem. They are now focusing on just making people taller."

"Why do they call camels the ships of the desert? they are filled with Arab semen."

"My revenge for being designated driver is putting my car seat warmers on high and convincing my drunk friends that they pee'd in their pants"

"*painting your nails* one hand : perfect. other hand : looks like a blind cat did it."

"They say Republicans are toxic and Democrats are stupid. And they're right. Just kidding they're fags."