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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit 100 babies into a cup? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips."

"My friend lost his toes in a car accident, so I punched him in the face I'm lack toes intolerant"

"[NBA Postgame] *LeBron wearing his fake glasses* ""Questions? Yes, Lois Lane from Daily Planet"" ""Yeah hi. I'll wait til LeBron comes out"""

"I bought my friend a new computer screen for Xmas. His New Year resolution is 1920 x 1080."

"Hey moms! Here's a fun game to play: When your kid gets home from school, be lying on the floor screaming in pain, ""YOU STEPPED ON A CRACK!"""

"One thing I've learned about pizza jokes... It's all in the delivery."

"I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week.. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G Spot.. Turns out her sister had it all along."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!!!"

"What kinds of birds are raised by only their mothers? Blackbirds"

"I can't help but pronounce A, E, I, O, and U very aggressivley. I think I have irrititable vowel syndrome."