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Joke of the Day

"Why do they call camels the ships of the desert? they are filled with Arab semen."

"I ran out of toothpaste recently So I've resorted to brushing with soap. It's pretty gross, but on the plus side I've really cut back on my swearing."

"I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous."

"I grew up in Africa. During the summers, we just had balloon fights."

"Dessert police! Open up! *breaks down door* Freeze! Cake it easy man, I'm Pudding you in Custardy! ""Ugh, well isn't this just Flantastic."""

"I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches."

"It was my five year old daughter's school play last night. I haven't enjoyed myself so much in years! I didn't go."

"What do you call someone who smokes two joints? Double jointed."

"How can you tell if there is a pilot in the room? He will tell you."

"I just joined Twitter; it's really easy to follow people. Too bad it cuts into my exercise."