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Joke of the Day

"Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit? The bass was pegged, his hook was just right, and it made all the girls shake they booty."

"Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried."

"If she eats pizza with a fork, she isn't going to like being bent over the dining room table."

"Hey guys I know a really good Knock-Knock Joke but you have to start it."

"My wife hates the way I introduce her to people in public. ""THIS is my wife.."" *looks down at the ground *sighs *kicks can"

"what do ducks and pseudo-science have in common? it's all just a bunch of quackery."

"What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet? The finish line of the Boston Marathon."

"What kind of cars do jedis drive? A toy-*yoda*"

"I used to be a phone sex worker... until I got hearing aids."

"Lord of the Rings marathon -Do you know what a Lord of the Rings marathon is? -Yes -But do you know what a Lord of the Rings triathlon is? -No? -That's when you watch all three of them"