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Joke of the Day

"My wife hates the way I introduce her to people in public. ""THIS is my wife.."" *looks down at the ground *sighs *kicks can"

"I'm giving up spellcheck for Lant"

"3 unwritten rules of life: 1. 2. 3."

"People need to learn how to take a compliment... Just today I complimented the most epic mustache I've ever seen and the lady didn't even say thanks."

"Did you hear about the vintage attache with a perfectly working clasp? It was a classic open-and-shut case."

"""Yoda, are we supposed to be here?"" ""Off course we are."""

"Women's underwear is a great example of how you can make something half-assed and it still become very successful Thought of this in traffic yesterday"

"I'm writing a research paper on banning shredded cheese in supermarkets and instead only selling cheese is large blocks. The title is ""Make America Grate Again."""

"I bumped into the guy that invented the globe. It's a small world."

"Some people say I have a dark sense of humor. Not as dark as the charred remains of a holocaust victim."