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Joke of the Day

"Someone just told me ""if you don't believe in Santa Claus, he'll never visit!"" So on that note, I no longer believe in cancer."

"Did you hear about the woman with guns for tits? She was pretty Barrel-Chested."

"I just had some mediocre chinese food ... it was Tso Tso"

"Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who's giving them medical attention?"

"Why did the man snort Dr. Pepper? He thought it was Coke!"

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"What do frogs say that surf the internet? Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of. :)"

"Ever notice how unaware people are of the world around them? No?"

"Your tombstone should be carved in Comic Sans."

"Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times."