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Joke of the Day

"How do you get the guitar player off of your porch? Pay for the pizza."

"So we're on for next Friday? Perfect. I'll call you Thursday to reschedule."

"The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He'll never wok again."

"Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring... Wedding ring... Suffering!!!"

"Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists? They're cultured."

"Did you know most baking companies are family owned & operated... they're all in bread!"

"Lets try it once A husband asks his wife to try anal...she says, Ohhhh that reminds me with the school days."

"why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here"

"Gandalf: It is in men that we must place our hope Elrond: Have you seen their tweets"

"I'm rubber, you're glue. We are both very handy and have a variety of practical uses."